| 100 |
[May. 13th, 2011|08:58 pm] |
So, I haven't been here in awhile, procrastinating posting the 100th post because I was hoping it would be something less trashy. Then I started writing somewhere else and before I knew it this crazy mugging tide swept me away and now I'm in the middle of my exams! Still. But the first 3 and biggest papers are over so I can afford to bum around a bit before the last two papers next week. And what a bum of a day it has been! After the paper ended at 11am, there was this brilliant idea to grab food and beer at the bistro so we sat around with hoegaarden, calamari. really good pasta and chocolate dessert (yum).
It started poring like crazy after that and I was like  'gotta pee gotta pee gotta pee gotta pee' for the longest time until I got home, where I continued bumming around and catching up with all the television I missed, hollywood waits for no man I tell you. When I was done with that I got really restless and tired of being a bum so I took the bike and rode out! It was quite exciting because I wasn't really planning on getting anywhere but somehow cycling in a straight line and avoiding traffic lights got me to the flyer! And it was starting to rain at that time so I took a break there and tried to decide if it was a good place to study. But the rain refused to stop so I gave up after awhile and rode back out and somehow ended up in dhoby ghaut and the tauhuay stall where I eventually found my way back. Never occurred to me how small sg is! I shall attempt to get to east coast park next time, I think it's rather do-able, especially since I passed by kallang on my way to the flyer. Thought some of the old buildings on the way were pretty cool, it's pretty fun to explore sg by bicycle! But mebbe I should wait till my exams are over.
I gather that this is not exactly a momentous 100th post, but hey, it's been a cool day. Plus it's almost the end of exams so I am glad. Strawberry Fields Forever has been playing in my head since morning, happy friday the 13th everybody! |
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| No. 99 |
[Apr. 13th, 2011|03:23 pm] |
I suscribe to the philosophy that it is a logical impossibility for the brain to comprehend its own workings.
Therefore, neuroscience and neuroanatomy are illogical.
And I am stupid.
(What a rad 99th post) |
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| No. 98 |
[Apr. 6th, 2011|12:52 am] |
I tend to go on drunken-tipsy rants when I've had a tad too much to drink and I'm all light-headed and woozy and I can feel my heart throbbing in my ribcage like a wild animal racing to released. And my reflexes slow down a ton such that I accidentally close the bathroom door on my finger and I literally see it getting pinched before I feel the pain a fraction of a second later. So yes, I am back to debating the eternal conundrum that is studying and having fun. Having fun like getting very tipsy on a school day with school the next day. There really is no responsibility now in M1, I'm not going to be responsible for somebody's life tomorrow morning so the only thing stopping me is a responsibility to myself - how much sleep I should have, how much studying I should have done earlier today. Should I be what would be termed as sensible and stay at home and study till my head implodes and jump into bed or just.... chill and listen to live music while having my drink. ERdinger, yes with an R not the lousy one that the lecturers keep talking about that is the edinger-westphal (?) nucleus because god knows this erdinger is so, damned, good. How much of live fast, die young should I adhere to? It's incredibly boring, not to mention intolerable, to be studying like a complete robot over extended periods of time without having some fun. And its not exactly going to get better either. But enough school, I feel quite grand sitting here and typing this stream of subconsciousness without any care in the world with woozy music in the background.
Life should be like this - having stuff you enjoy but do not tire of, always feeling light-headed, irrationally happy and without a care in the world.
Love is a strange concept, I was thinking. It would be quite awful to be with somebody because of... conformity, or because it is easier than not being with anybody. But then again, I don't really know. Maybe there is some sort of rationale behind why people settle for what they might not dream of. Maybe because it's completely impossible to meet somebody great, great for you, who would accept you for all your flaws, physical, habitual, mental (? HAHA) and want to stick around. Because sticking around is challenging.
People can be difficult. And disappointing.
I really would like to do well while having a good time with my life.
How in the world am I going to last 5 years? |
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| No. 97 |
[Apr. 3rd, 2011|11:39 pm] |
I think sunday nights should be for doing things you like - listening to (and downloading) woozy surreal music in the hope that it would cheat your subconscious into believing that there is in fact no school the next day.
Anyway, I realized that my taste in music hasn't changed much since thirteen, fourteen? I am re-listening to some of my earliest forays outside of radio from secondary school for nostalgia's sake and I still think suede (beautiful ones, she's in fashion) and gomez (thanks to the latest episode of grey's and their very literal use of the song 'How we operate') are pretty awesome. My taste seems to be getting a bit... woozier now though, maybe I just become more escapist as reality and the world descends on me.
I tried clearing out some of my playlist just now - Daniel Beddingfield thank you very much, I honestly cannot remember how he got in - and gave up because the artists all started melting into a string of nonsensical alphabets. I have been downloading way too much music, but I think it keeps me sane with all the things I try to cram in. Plus, it keeps me excited about starting a study session when I have a new album/playlist to listen to!
It looks set to be a busy week ahead, I guess it's time to get ready to sleep!
(On a side note, I wish I had the innate talent or motivation to learn to play an instrument really well. It's quite infuriating because I would never figure out how to produce the music makes me all floaty and fuzzy inside) |
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| No. 95 |
[Mar. 27th, 2011|09:59 pm] |
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When I am stressed I go on this crazy music downloading spree. Hooray for new music, 80GB here I come! |
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| No. 94 |
[Mar. 22nd, 2011|08:59 pm] |
Let me at least fail at my life.
Think, they say patiently, we could
make you famous again. Let me fall
in love one last time, I beg them.
Teach me mortality, frighten me
into the present. Help me to find
the heft of these days. That the nights
will be full enough and my heart feral.
Jack Gilbert - I imagine the gods
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| No. 92 |
[Mar. 20th, 2011|10:57 pm] |
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Today in church I took the same lift as this person who took care of me for awhile when I was really young. She started on how I used to be such a kid, how much I've grown that sort of blah blah stuff, reminiscing about how I used to screech the whole place down with my wailing whenever my mom left me with anybody else, and how only she could handle me because she distracted me sufficiently with everything she could find. It's not the first time I've heard what a brat I was, but today I realise how much of myself I've retained, even at this supposedly ripe old age of nineteen. Its like this gnawing emptiness, the feeling of having lost someone or something important, after reading a really good book or watching a really good movie/play - coming to the end of whatever it is that meant something. It's strange, because I thought I grew older and wiser, maybe colder or stronger but this feels exactly like it used to, just that now I'm the one doing the distracting too. |
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| No. 91 |
[Mar. 17th, 2011|11:23 pm] |
The hills are always steeper on the way back home
The roads smoother and the ride faster
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| No. 90 |
[Mar. 13th, 2011|11:07 pm] |
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I have trouble believing that we have arrived at head and neck, the limbs did not seem that far away. Sigh, goodbye weekend. I have accomplished nothing and I'm very proud of that. |
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| No. 88 |
[Mar. 10th, 2011|07:08 pm] |
Yesssss I love you novena starbucks because you are not freezing cold (like Liat Towers) or far away (like onefullerton, although I love you a lot too) or closed down (sigh, raffles city, sigh) and have affordable food within close proximity (yes, onefullerton, you again).
I think I might be going mad HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Btw why are primary school children invading starbucks with their chinese zuowens? This is preposterous, as my primary school teachers used to say with such gusto. |
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