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[oct 10th, 2009 >>11:27pm] |
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Dear everybody, its almost the end.
Its been unbelievably short, as it usually feels when we stand around and muse about how everything has passed by us so quickly. Two years is a very elastic period of time, especially from here where everything before seems to have shrunk back into a very short length of time like a stretched rubber band finally let go.
Maybe at the end of our lives we would lie feeble on our deathbeds and lament how frighteningly short, and how agonizingly long, this journey has been.
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| The laws of the universe are, well, universal. |
[oct 5th, 2009 >>11:42pm] |
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Bright Eyes -- Classic Cars |
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It has been four weeks since I've been here and I've been buried under this huge heap of junk otherwise known as the prelims, but now that they are (disastrously) over, I'm surfacing on livejournal again! Studying like a hermit living off coffee and crappy microwaved food has not done me any good, I fear my for my ability to think rationally without repeating every point in at least three different (but same) ways (eurghh, the horrors of biology!). I'm have a snide feeling that the A levels are reducing me to a waffling idiot. With bad grammar.
Anyway, while studying chemical bonding (which I (regretfully and blatantly) ignored for prelims), I had an epiphany!
Finding love, is like... forming a covalent bond.
While a covalent bond is the electrostatic forces of attraction for some other atom's electrons, which results in sharing of electrons to form a stable octet (usually), finding love is roughly equivalent to finding something you like in somebody else, in the hope of attaining some form of elusive happiness.
If the two atoms are too far away, the attraction of the nuclei for the electrons is too weak and no bond is formed. But if the distance between the two atoms is too small, internucleic and interelectronic repulsion overrules the nucleic attraction and they get repelled away, so no bond is formed either. It is a delicate balance between the attraction between the nuclei and the electrons and the repulsion that results in the formation of a covalent bond, and really, it does sound awfully familiar to me.
Some bonds are strong and some less strong, some shorter and some longer, but really, all it takes is the right bond energy and strain to break your covalent bonds. So whether you're H-Cl or H-I are a polyatomic MgCO3 (I don't know how that would come about actually), there's always a specific temperature that will result in decomposition, although that would vary significantly between molecules. (Highly charged --> more easily decomposed)
So......... good luck finding your optimal inter-nucleic distance and I hope you're a stable diatomic molecule! (:
(I think bio department has taught my point-to-point comparison well (HA), and maybe even a little too well... I should totally major in linking the most unrelated things together.)
(I haven't lost my marbles yet, or at least not all of them)
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[aug 10th, 2009 >>11:43pm] |
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There's this rather young woman in her twenties who lives in my block, when I first moved in 6 years ago she got around on a wheelchair, with her elderly mother pushing her. I heard (from my mom) that when she was studying in university, a blood vessel in her brain burst and she suffered a stroke, leaving her partially paralysed and her speech slurred. One day I was coming back home after studying outside and I saw this car parked at the foot of my block, and there she was, with her elderly father on one side holding her tightly as she shuffled unsteadily, one step at a time. On her left, was a relatively younger man holding on to her as all three of them moved, with what would have been an unbearable slowness to anybody else, towards the lift landing. And in that man's left hand, was a small bouquet of flowers. I guess the selfless, all-encompassing, non-discriminating, non-judgmental, ever-elusive, grand, grand love does exist after all.
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| A very, very, very bad rant |
[aug 4th, 2009 >>11:18pm] |
ZZZZZZZZZZZZ I've been teetering on the brink of falling sick for the past week and I just refuse to fall sick or get better, its infuriating. I'd rather just fall sick properly with the whole flu-fever-cough drama so I can start getting well and not just hang around in this murky half-sick, half-well area waiting to fall either way, and its taking way too long to make a decision on which way to fall. Bleaugh, this feels quite terrible.
On a separate note, school is getting in the way of my studying, the teachers should just finish the syllabus and let us off from school (which is an epic waste of time) so that we can start proper revision for the prelims. And wake up later too. The thought of waking up before the sun rises (SIX AM?!) makes me want to shudder, cringe, roll over and die. In that order, yes.
Okay my head is spinning and kylie's song is starting to play in my mind like a very bad flashback to some bad dancefloor sort of thing from judo gradnight (which I hear is making a comeback this year, hooray!) so I had better head to bed before I sleep through both GP and Math lessons tmrw. (Eurgh, run-on lines coupled with nonsensical rants are a clear indicator of a brain screaming, 'sleep! sleep! sleep!' and 'to hell with school!' with its communist-like hand actions)
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[jul 29th, 2009 >>10:13pm] |
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We did it (:
No words can adequately describe the overwhelming sense of joy, satisfaction and relief of winning after six long, eventful and unforgettable years of training (and winning) alongside the best team mates I could ever ask for.
I'm glad I played in the end, I guess beneath all the self-doubt and injury I knew I could do it. I finally broke my notorious habit of not performing up to par during team finals, and now I can safely say that I'm stepping out without regrets.
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[jul 21st, 2009 >>9:19pm] |
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I.... don't know what to do. Today is one of the days where I'm wondering if I should have more of a drive in life, if I'm putting in enough effort to, if I'm good enough to attain what I want. I don't know if I should apply to the UK, or take one of those expensive aptitude tests, or take the SATs (god knows what for), or just sit here in oblivion while the world rushes by to get into oxford, harvard and the like. I feel horribly... incapacitated, not knowing what I want for sure and not doing anything to get there. I'm deathly afraid that I'd just lapse into a state of mediocrity and my inertia to do anything substantial will develop into a helpless panic and ultimately result in failure. Eurgh. Doomsday.
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[jul 8th, 2009 >>11:10pm] |
So I guess my holidays are officially and finally over. This concludes five long, crazy and hectic weeks of training, studying, more training, exams and running around in general. Somehow it feels like I've barely spent the past month at home, I've been everywhere but here, I think I miss home.
From hiding out at my favourite starbucks with the best barristas at raffles city, then seeking temporary refuge in vivocity and finally finding a new home at onefullerton starbucks, pulling through two crazy training camps (last!) and living to relate the horror, attachment at SGH which was both enlightening and shocking (at times), and finally the insane, insane rush to cram everything into my head for blocks, all in one month.
I think this year has been way too eventful, and its passing by so quickly that its rather scary to think about, I'd rather not think about it :(
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[jul 6th, 2009 >>9:15am] |
Its the same river.
Just a different view, a different angle, a different time.
But its still the same river, really.
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[jul 4th, 2009 >>11:18pm] |
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I want to read a book, a good book.
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[jun 13th, 2009 >>11:56pm] |
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Maybe sometimes you have to lose in order to find the motivation to win again.
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[may 31st, 2009 >>9:35pm] |
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I survived bike hike and I have an aching ass to prove it. My knees have been clicking ominously throughout the whole day and I've slept 1 hour in the last 38 hours, so excuse my lack of grammar and sentence structure, especially since the words I'm typing now kinda look like their swimming around.
Cycling all throughout the night was.... a pretty unique experience. Bloody tiring, but I guess the adrenalin-rush from pedaling furiously down the middle of long stretches of road made up for much of it. Cycling past esplanade, millenia walk, kallang stadium, ritz carlton, istana park, the cathay and landmarks along orchard to city hall in the dim light of dawn brought back a lot of poignant memories of people and events, both good and bad which I thought I had forgotten. But I guess at the end of it all we live, learn and continue pushing forward, leaving bits of our past behind. Strangely enough, the empty orchard and city hall in the dark felt like these places were an empty shell of how we usually perceive them, it felt weird seeing these usually crowded places well, empty. Maybe the past feels like that to us now too, just ghosts of our experiences sieved into the remnants we can still recall.
Okay, I'm not making much sense. I will edit this when I'm more.......(what's it?)..... coherent. Right.
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| A ramble that ran away |
[may 28th, 2009 >>11:12pm] |
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Coffee and chemistry go well together, I think I should just start off next month by donating my allowance to all the coffee outlets around Singapore, maybe they'll throw in a free muffin or something too. These few weeks have been so hectic I've barely had time to stop and breathe, and frankly, I'm quite thankful for that. I'm secretly (maybe not so secretly anymore) glad that training and school exhausts me completely, I think I'd be caught off guard if there was nothing to do. On a completely irrelevant note, I spent the last half hour reading FML and it really does put new perspective into a lot of things. Oh, and H1N1 has arrived together with the school holidays, how disgustingly timely.
I think the coffee's waning, sleep beckons.
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| Joyas Voladoras -- Brian Doyle |
[may 12th, 2009 >>9:35pm] |
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So much held in a heart in a lifetime. So much held in a heart in a day, an hour, a moment. We are utterly open with no one, in the end – not mother and father, not wife or husband, not lover, not child, not friend. We open windows to each but we live alone in the house of the heart. Perhaps we must. Perhaps we could not bear to be so naked, for fear of a constantly harrowed heart. When young we think there will come one person who will savor and sustain us always; when we are older we know this is the dream of a child, that all hearts finally are bruised and scarred, scored and torn, repaired by time and will, patched by force of character, yet fragile and rickety forevermore, no matter how ferocious the defense and how many bricks you bring to the wall. You can brick up your heart as stout and tight and hard and cold and impregnable as you possible can and down it comes in an instant, felled by a woman’s second glance, a child’s apple breath, the shatter of glass in the road, the words ‘I have something to tell you,” a cat with a broken spine dragging itself into the forest to die, the brush of your mother’s papery ancient hand in the thicket of your hair, the memory of your father’s voice early in the morning echoing from the kitchen where he is making pancakes for his children.
-- I found this on ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) frayedgray 's tumblr (where the full version is) and thought it was breathtaking.
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[apr 19th, 2009 >>9:00pm] |
Half a man’s life is spent in implying, in turning away, and in keeping silent.
-- Albert Camus
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